I’m lucky enough to have a client base that in almost all cases puts their children first. However, that does not mean co-parenting comes naturally! I asked a co-parenting expert, Rosalind Sedacca, to be my guest writer on this important subject. I know her information will be valuable to you!!
Co-parenting during and after divorce is always challenging. But more and more couples are realizing divorce doesn’t have to be a toxic disaster for parents or children. Co-parents have options and choices worth exploring. You can create a peaceful, amicable Child-Centered Divorce and your children will thank you.
Here are some vitally important tips for achieving the positive outcome you desire …
- Acknowledge, and then forgive, yourself for the role you played in the disappointment and dissolution of your marriage. Don’t beat yourself up. Instead identify the lessons you’ve learned and determine not to repeat former mistakes.
- Let go of the past and pick your battles moving forward. Life is too short to get stuck in old grievances. Forgiving your ex means cutting the cord to the pain. It’s the gift you give yourself so you can create a brighter future.
- Release unrealistic expectations about co-parenting together. Don’t expect your ex to change from who they’ve been. But do focus on the one thing that keeps you connected and hopefully always will: your love for your children.
- Don’t let attorneys, family, friends or others coerce you into needless conflict. Your divorce is uniquely yours. Every decision you make will move you toward a more or less harmonious outcome for years to come. Hostility creates emotional turmoil for your children. So, steer yourself toward cooperation, flexibility and an amicable co-parenting relationship.
- Allow your children to continue to love their other parent. Allow their other parent to continue to love them. These are the two biggest gifts you can give to your children of any age.
- Love your kids more than you may dislike your ex and keep that in mind when making every decision. It will guide you on the right track.
- Remember no one knows or cares about your children more than you and your former spouse. Keep the court and strangers from making decisions about your family’s future. Avoid the expense and gamble of litigation and find ways to mediate or settle focused on the true wellbeing of your children.
- Allow your kids to receive love from new partners, your ex’s new spouse and blended family relationships. Children thrive on love and don’t care who it comes from as long as it’s sincere.
- Master healthy communication skills to minimize co-parenting conflict and tension. Ask yourself this important question. Would I still be making this same decision if we were still married? Discuss parenting issues as two parents of the children you love.
Need help and support achieving any of the above? Reach out to me for personal coaching. Or choose one of my co-parenting e-courses or ebooks. They’re designed to keep you on track, minimize stress and give your children the childhood they truly deserve, despite the divorce.
Rosalind Sedacca, CDC is the founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network, a Divorce & Co-Parenting Coach and author of the acclaimed ebook, How Do I Tell The Kids About The Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide To Preparing Your Children -- With Love! To get her free ebook, coaching services, expert interviews, programs, e-courses and other valuable resources on divorce and co-parenting, visit: http://www.childcentereddivorce.com